it was worth him
by iloveyou01
Summary: I can feel my soul growing more lost and lost in this world. I can feel my humanity drifting away like clouds. But as i think of how this happened, i knew i would do it again. I would keep turning Strigoi again and again because it was worth Dimitri. It was worth him. DO NOT OWN RICHELLE MEADS CHCARACTERS
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is my first fanfiction so I hope you like it! Please review!**

Alberta caught a glimpse of me and a couple other guardians "Start retreating!" she yelled.

Moments later, my mother's party came tearing down the hall. By the numbers, one more had gone down. But they were so close. Everyone around me tensed up. So close. So, so close.

But not close enough. Three Strigoi lay in wait in one of the alcoves. We'd passed them, but they'd let us go by. It all happened so fast; no on could have reacted in time. One of the Strigoi grabbed Celeste, his mouth and fangs going for her check, I heard a strangled scream and saw blood everywhere. One of the Strigoi went for Ms. Carmack, but my mother jerked her away and shoved her forward toward us.

The third Strigoi grabbed Dimitri. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never seen Dimitri falter. He was always faster, always stronger than everyone else. Not this time. This Strigoi had caught him by surprise, and that slight edge was all it had taken.

I stared. It was the blond Strigoi. The one who had spoken to me in the battle.

He grabbed Dimitri and pulled him to the ground. They grappled, strength against strength against strength, and then I saw those fangs sink into Dimitri's neck. I ran.

I ran back into the cave barely dodging two Strigoi. I was almost there. Almost to Dimitri. His life, his soul, it was all there just in my reach.

_Almost there. I will save you Dimitri. And we can be together. I promise_

Just as that thought ran through my mine, I kick the blond Strigoi that was taking away my lovers soul. I made sure to kick him on the jaw, upward that way the fangs would come out of Dimitri's neck and tear even more flesh. The blond Strigoi flew backward, into a wall. I looked down at my feet to see Dimitri laying unconscious, blood dripping down his neck.

I bent down and tried picking him up. After the third time of trying and failing I did the only thing I could think of. I started to drag him. I took his arms and pulled and ran at the same time. He glided along smoothly on the dirt ground. I finally managed to get him out of the cave. Well, I really only managed to get the top half of Dimitri out. I gave one look at Stan and he was already pulling on Dimitri's arms. It was tricky since the opening to the cave had a little hill going downwards. And with Dimitris height, that was even more complicated.

So I jumped back in the cave and I took Dimitris legs and made it the same vertical length as his body, then I pushed. Dimitri came out of the cave and ended up being near some trees where someone dragged him. When I looked I saw someone trying to wake him up._ Good _I thought.

I was just getting out of the cave when I saw someone fall out of the corner of my eye. I turned and looked at the face that was about to get their life taken away. My mother. Even though we never really gotten along, there was no way I was going to let her die.

I jumped on her attacker long enough to distract him so she could get out. I put a chokehold on him while my mother grabbed her stake and staked him. We both got up and started running out of the cave where Alberta was yelling at us to hurry.

That's when it happened. I put my mother first to get out of the cave and just as I was running out, a Strigoi grabbed me from behind and slammed me to the ground. He leaned down trying to bite my neck while I tried pushing up on him. It was no use. I knew I was going to die. But just before his teeth were about to connect with my neck I looked over.

Dimitri got up and looked right into my eyes. He started screaming my name, tears leaking down his face as he tried running back in. The only thing that stopped him was Alberta and Stan. He looked at me and I mouthed _I love you._ And the last thought that ran through my head was _it was worth him._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys. This is chapter 2 and I hope you enjoy it. Please review like always! Also special thanks to my first two reviewers.(you know who you are). Enjoy!**

The first feeling that shot through me when I woke up was emptiness. I felt like air. Cold, cold air inside a frozen metal can. I lay there, wondering where I was. I know I should be trying to sit up but I have to concentrate on getting my thought together first. It was as if someone tossed a puzzle of a thousand pieces all over the floor, scattered, while they try to put the whole puzzle together.

After a couple of hours of putting everything in its place, it all came back to me. The cabin, the cave, my mother, Dimitri, and of course….. the bite. I sat up this time, wishing right after that I didn't. it was like being shot at a million times in the heart and in the brain. Someone was trying to talk to me and I screamed. I grabbed whoever was in front of me and threw them across the room in rage.

I stood there, breathing heavily. It sounded as if the whole world just stood to a still. I finally let my eyes adjust to see where I was and whom I just thrown. I was standing in a luxurious studio with a large plasma TV and a huge kitchen. Just past the kitchen was a hallway that led to a bathroom and a bedroom. I turned around to see the blond Strigoi laughing with no real humor in it. "I knew it was a good idea to turn you" he said while getting up. "After you kicked me away from my Russian snack, I let the rest of the Strigoi know that we needed you to be awaken so you could join us."

I froze. Awakened. "I'm Strigoi?" I asked, fear and disbelief lacing around my words. "Awww Rose" he did a fake pout "you make that sound like a bad thing" he grinned. And I swear on my undead life that it was the creepiest thing I've ever seen. "Oh don't worry dear" he said still grinning. " I'll make sure to get that Russian snack next time I visit." My temper was already to an end. Him mentioning Dimitri just shattered it all. "That's it blond boy. You wanna play?" I gave him a level look "lets play." He grinned "why didn't you just say so?" he attacked, and my guardian instincts took over.

**Dimitri Pov**

_Roza. Where did you go? Roza come back. I need you. You cant leave._ I saw the fangs sink into her neck, tearing the flesh. "_ROZA!" _I see her mouthing that she loved me. I loved her too. So much it hurt. Which is why I wasn't going to let her leave this world. I ran toward her. The only thing that stopped me was Alberta and Stan. I looked over them and saw my world crumbling down. Rose lay there unconscious while the Strigoi stood up and grinned such an evil grin that I knew then, that I never hated someone so much until right then.

I started whimpering. Rose. Rose. Rose. "Rose come back. I need you. Please." That's when I knew I was awake. I was sobbing, wishing this was all a dream. I never cried about anyone. I mean if it was my family then, yeah, I would shed some tears but never outright cry.

I felt someone rubbing my back. I didn't even want to look. I feel horrible and a little embarrassed that I'm crying in front of someone. Of course I would never let my face show that. I learned for many years how to mask your feelings. Then this happened and I feel like I forgot about all that. All I could think about was Rose. Rose, the person who knew me better than anyone. Rose, the one I made love to. Rose, the one women in the world I promised that I was going to protect her more than anyone.

And I failed her. Failed. I feel so ashamed that I don't even want to look at anyone. But I'm going to because I am not the only one who loved her deeply. After a little sleep, I got up to go visit the gang. Lissa was laying on the floor crying her eyes out while Christian comforted her. She looked so pale she could have been Strigoi. Adrian was on the chair across the room drinking a bottle of liquor to drain his sorrows. And Eddie. My gaze lingered on him a little more than the others. He looked as if he was trying to do what I was doing. Masking my feelings.

Rose didn't need to do that. She hid her feelings either with a joke or a witty comment. Thinking of her almost made me cry and I was just heading to the door when I turned around, bent down, and gave Lissa a hug. "I'm sorry princess." I got up and turned around. "Dimitri?" I stopped and looked at her "yes, princess?" she looked at me and smiled so tiny I wasn't sure if I imagined it. "Thank you. Also call me Lissa." I thought about it for a second then I nodded and left the room.

I was on my way to my room when I walked into somebody. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to find Alberta." She started walking away "Janine?" I asked. Sure enough when she turned around, I was looking into a tear stained face of a Hathaway. "Oh, hello Guardian Belikov." I was going to ask about Rose but thought better than it. Instead I did something that I thought I would never do. I hugged her. She stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed. "I'm so sorry Guardian Hathaway." She lingered in the hug a moment longer "thank you Dimitri." The she started walking away.

I did the same. I walked down the hall, into my room and shut the door. I walked over to my bed, letting the tears finally fall, and I would just lay there thinking over how many ways I could have saved Rose. My Roza.

**Thank you guys so much for favoriting and reviewing. It means the world to me. Specially when I just started this today! I will be posting soon. Luv ya!**


	3. don't ever call me Rosie

**Third chapter is in. enjoy and reviewwwwwww.**

I circled Nathan, the blond Strigoi, while he was tied down to the chair. When we first starting fighting I was, well, lets just say, Dimitri would have not been proud. It was like the first day back on a sparring mat with mason all over again. My brain was dodging quickly and trying to move but my body was really slow behind it. When my brain said dodge my body wouldn't react until I've already been hit. Seriously, it was embarrassing.

After I've been knocked down on my head a few times, I started getting images of Lissa. And it felt like I just turned into the hulk. I was bursting in power. I took Nathan and threw him across the room, I ran too him and punched him not once, not twice, but three times on the side of his face and his jaw broke. Trust me, its worse than it sounds. I found a rope that was hanging in a storage closet and threw it over my shoulder. I was reading for interrogation.

After about three hours of useless information, I got up to get a snack. I came back with a chocolate glazed donut. I might be Strigoi but I'm still Rose. I was halfway done with my donut when Nathan stopped bickering. I glanced up to see him just staring at me, mouth slightly open. "What is that?" he asked. I gave him a look that said _are you serious?_

He was still just staring at me. I sighed. "It's a donut" I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I mean I know he is Strigoi and all, but u got to be living in a cave in the center of the earth to not know what a donut was. "I know Rose. I mean, why are you eating it?" I looked at him weird." Is it a crime to start eating donuts now? Seriously, dude, you were ticking me off before, but now your just pissing me off. I mean-"

The true meaning sank in. He was asking why I was eating a donut because Strigoi don't eat. Nathan realized I caught the meaning of his words and started tilted his head slightly "this hasn't happened for centuries" he said sounding slightly impressed. I looked at him, fear all over my face. "What's happening?" I asked. He saw the fear on my face and smiled "well, as much as I want to tell you, I'm not obligated to say anything until you get me out of this" he glanced down at the rope he was tied with and looked back up at me.

I thought for a second and smiled evilly. I put my hands on the armchairs and was face to face with him. "Listen up here big boy. You're going to tell me what you know or I'm going to tear your throat out with my fangs" I then hissed at him letting him know I wasn't bluffing. He smiled, obviously enjoying this, and said something that was unexpecting but not surprising.

" Go ahead" he told me. I was about to say something, when he cut me off. " but if you kill me, all the information you need with be gone with me." I faltered slightly but he obviously noticed it and grinned. "So what's it going to be Rosie? Let me go and find out what I believe is going on or kill me with all the information you want?" I thought for a couple of moments and sighed. I had to find out what was happening to me before something bad happens because knowing me, something bad always happens. Ok maybe that was an exaggeration, but most of the time its true.

I grabbed a knife and started twirling around. "Fine" I put the knife up to Nathans neck "but call me Rosie again and I'm going to make you wish I ripped your throat out."

**Dimitri Pov**

I woke up, eyes burning red. I went into the shower and let the hot water stop some of my aching I felt in my stomach. I was in there for about an hour, when I got dressed and went into the cafeteria to get breakfast. Not a lot of people usually go here but when I walked in I immediately saw a pale Lissa, a comforting Christian, a hangover Adrian, a stoned face Eddie, and a guilty looking Mia. I went around the corner to grab Roses favorite, a chocolate glazed donut and was heading over back to the table to see Janine Hathaway sitting with them all.

I sat next to Adrian, who looked like he would fall over any minute, and glanced at Janine. She was telling them a story she remembered about Rose before she gave her up to the Academy. Rose was on a play date with a boy she met at a park a while ago. I guess it turns out they were both dhampirs and Janine and his mother, Sarah, became good friends before she died. So while Janine was out for a little bit, Sarah offered to watch Rose so Max and her could play for a bit.

Max kissed Roses cheek and by then Rose knew a lot of words. A LOT. She smacked him across the face and said "watch your mouth, mother rucker." Thank god she was still learning how to pronounce some words. Something else immediately distracted her. "oooooo this is pretty" she said in awe. Max looked at her " I think you're very pretty Rosie." She stopped what she was doing and glared at him "call me Rosie again and I will smash your face into that window over there" she pointed to the window next to her "got it?" he nodded in fear. Ever since then, people knew not to call her Rosie. And honestly, I'm going to feel bad for the next person that calls her Rosie.

**So how did I do? I love baby rose! Review to let me know what you thought of the third chapter and if I get enough reviews, I will be writing quicker than you think.**


	4. hope for me

**Chapter 4! Review!**

_I can't believe this_I thought, as I lay on my bed. I've been lying down now, to what felt like days, processing what Nathan told me. _It can't be true__. __No, it just, no it can't. Your brain is giving you weird delusions Rose. You could be like this because you just turned. Yeah, that's it. Its because you turned__._ But no matter how many times I told myself all these different conclusions, what Nathan told me makes sense. It's because of the bond that I'm like this. I should be dark by now. Strigoi dark. You know, the one full of hatred and anger and murderous ideas. But because I'm still bonded to Lissa, her humanity is drifting into me. It's like dark magic pushing one way and Lissa pushing the other. And let me tell you one thing, it is SUPER frustrating.

Also to be hanging around this Nathan guy, is making my almost undead life a living hell. Literally. I swear he just enjoys watching me suffer and in pain. But I'm glad it's me, and not Dimitri. If he were turned instead of me, he would be full of darkness. I, on the other hand, am hanging in there. Holding on tight for, not just Dimitri, but the rest of the gang. Especially Lissa. I wonder if she knows I'm Strigoi, because she obviously knows something if she's pushing back. And if she did know, did she tell Dimitri? Or is she keeping it a secret from everyone else?

A thought came so fast that I didn't even have time to think about it, I just appeared here. In Lissa's head. And boy is she going to be in so much trouble when I see her, because trust me, from what she's planning. She's going to be here _very_ soon.

Dimitri Pov

"_C'mon, Comrade" Rose asked me. "They wont know we're gone. This is really boring and I haven't gone sledding for-ever." Rose and I were on top of a hill that she was assigned to for a school project. "Rose" I said gently, knowing she was still fragile on trying to get over Masons death._

"_Dimitri" she said, using the same gentleness "please." I looked at her briefly. She looked up immediately into my eyes and I saw sadness in those beautiful chocolate eyes. What one undone project going to hurt anyways, right? "Fine" I told her and immediately she smiled. "Awesome. Be right back." She ran down a hill behind us, straight to the car._

_What she took out of the car made me scowl at her when she made it up the hill. "What?" she asked innocently, handing me a big blue sled. I sighed, "you knew I would cave." I told her, still scowling, but with amusement._

_She just smiled and shrugged, "No. I just knew you couldn't resist my charm." I just stared at her and she laughed. Before I could respond she was already walking away, with the sled in her hand._

_She walked along until she got where she wanted, and sat on the sled in the snow. When she got comfortable she waited a few seconds, then looked at me. "Well?" she asked "you just going to stand there or are you going to man-up and come with me?"_

_I shook my head, grinning and took my sled next to hers. "I knew you would pick the right choice," she said while I was getting situated. "I thought I was going to have to threaten you by telling the whole gang that 'big bad' Belikov was scared to go sledding." I finally got situated and just stared at her. "You would really do that?" I asked in mock horror. She smiled. Then she leaned in, closer to me and whispered, "I'll tell you what. You slide down to the bottom with me and I'll tell you. Sound good?"_

_She pulled away looking at me, with a smile tugging on the corners. "Rose I don't know-" Rose already started sliding down. "Bye, Comrade" she said, right before going full speed down. I chuckled and went after her._ I woke up.

Rose Pov

Well, I guess it turns out I'm in Siberia from what Nathan told me, and right then I knew what I needed to do. I've been going over my plans for hours, when I decided to take a break. All I could think about was Dimitri. The one I saved from being like this. The one I would die for over and over again.

I went into the kitchen to look for Nathan, when someone slapped me across the face. "What the hell?" I hissed. I heard chuckling, but no person. I heard the chuckling again but this time right behind me. I turned around, my fist ready when I saw… nothing? Ok, now I was defiantly confused. _I mean why would-_ my thoughts were interrupted by another smack in the face. Only this time I saw him long enough to kick him into the kitchen cabinets. He flew, smashing into a bunch of glass cupboards. He stood up and glared at me.

I froze. It was him. The Strigoi who awakened me. I ran toward him, letting my instincts about to take over, only to get smacked like a fly when I reached him. "Don't even think about it," he said while I was lying on the floor, groaning in pain.

"I just came by to tell you that a couple people found out and are now looking for you. So don't act stupid." I stood up, shocked at the turn of events "who?" I asked urgently. It took a few moments for him to answer, "as far as I know, two royals and a male guardian."

I just sat there, stunned. The Strigoi talked to me a few minutes more, and the next think I knew, he was gone. I went into the bedroom and just lye there. For what seemed like forever thinking about Dimitri

Dimitri Pov

Once Lissa told me about Rose I jogged to my room and started packing. I knew what I had to do now. I was halfway through when I heard a soft know at the door. I froze trying to be quiet until I heard a hoarse voice. "Dimitri I know you're in there." The voice said softly. "I can see your aura."

I swore under my breath and opened the door to a better-looking Lissa. "May I come in?" She asked, sounding so polite, that I couldn't say no. I nodded and she walked in and right when I shut the door she talks. "Dimitri, I'm coming with you."

After a couple hours of trying to be reasonable, Lissa finally left when I told her that I would think about it. When she left I took a quick shower and buried my face in my pillow thinking about Rose. _Does she still have feelings?_

Rose Pov

_Does he still love me?_

Dimitri Pov

_Would she try to kill me if I saw her?_

Rose Pov

_Would he stake me if he found me?_

Dimitri Pov

_Is there still hope for her?_

Rose Pov

_Would he be able so save me?_

Dimitri Pov

_Because I know if she can be saved_

Rose Pov

_I will lay with Dimitri_

Dimitri Pov

_Rose in my arms_

Rose Pov

_As we both say_

Dimitri Pov

_Together_

Rose Pov

_Forever_

**So how was it? Please please please review and let me know what you think! Thank you!**


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